So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
