im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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