Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
