it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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