Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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