my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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