this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
