I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i just google imaged poop.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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