she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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