She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
