Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
