i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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