I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
