If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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