SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
