so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
