My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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