New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
