Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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