The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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