I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
