I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
