"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
