We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
