New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
