I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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