I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
