did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
