Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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