I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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