You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
