So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
