I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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