Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
