I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
