Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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