dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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