And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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