then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
