Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
