We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He did a backflip because drugs
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
