I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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