I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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