I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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