i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
