It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
