why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
