watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
