Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Im part way to drunk.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
