She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
