Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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