so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
