oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
