I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
