I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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