I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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