Im at strip club and am horny
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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