You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
