Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wish my penis had a tongue
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My vagina is officially offended.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize