So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sorry my hands just texted you
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
