I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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