remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
