I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
