Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You've changed since you got that strap on
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i believe in u and ur pee
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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